ABC News: Reality Bites – 2

Page 1 2 Reality Bites Reality Bites

February 2009
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Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer

“Jennifer is pulling a classic girl move; she’s playing the chameleon,” Titus said. “She’s playing detective, trying to discover who he is and what he wants and playing whatever role she must to keep his attention. It’s the everyday equivalent of the high-maintenance city girl agreeing to go camping with a guy just to keep him interested. She’s trying on all these different personalities in order to give him what he wants, and he really has no idea what he wants. Here’s the thing though, guys like a challenge. So you think you’re giving him exactly what he wants and when you finally do that, you’re punished for it. The bottom line is, they’re not right for each other.”

Cosmo’s Beland believes “there’s a lot to be said for dating your opposite, because it brings out a different side of you. So, there’s a positive angle and a negative angle to a woman who changes when she’s with a certain guy. A lot of women will date certain men because they want to experiment with that guy’s lifestyle and play with a different side of themselves. When Jennifer Aniston was with John Mayer, it may have been because she actually wanted to be with a rock star. She wanted to be exposed to the parties and the concerts. It can be really fun, if you’re trying to figure out what you want to do next and, to a degree, who you are. But, of course, the negative side is that when you’re changing to please a guy, at some point in the relationship, you’re going to come back to who you really are. Then he’s going to be disappointed and confused, and you’re going to be frustrated by that reaction. And that creates a real hot mess.”

In the end, Titus said, “Jennifer Aniston is subconsciously still trying to replace Brad Pitt. To her, what they had was perfect. He completely fit Jennifer Aniston’s desires in every way, sexually, socially. Brad Pitt was the perfect fit for her. And she’s been trying to re-create that scenario with anybody. She’s willing to sacrifice whatever she has to, even if that means playing groupie to John Mayer.”

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner

“I’m proud of him,” Titus said. “He went right into that relationship after Jennifer Lopez. It was like five months later and look how well it worked out. He went from one extreme with J.Lo, that horrible movie, the Barbara Walters debacle, everything in the public eye, to a really low-key, down-to-earth romance. And it just goes to show you, love has no timetable. Forget the rebound thing, forget the media glare. They just fit, they have babies, they go to the park, they put each other first. To a certain degree, it was probably Matt Damon’s influence. He definitely settled down, and Ben saw that and wanted it too. And when Jennifer Garner stepped into the picture, the timing was right.”

Beware Dating Depression

“When dating, both men and women have a habit of going after who they think they want, and maybe J.Lo was who Ben thought he wanted, that really extroverted, out there force of nature,” Beland said. “So we date that person, and then we realize, ‘Oh, this isn’t actually working for me.’ And that can really throw you into a tailspin, because there’s nothing worse than getting who you think you want and realizing you were wrong. It trips you up. It can cause dating depression, like ‘If that person didn’t work, nobody will work.’ Or if you’re lucky, like Ben Affleck was lucky, the next person you go out with, bam. She turns out to be the one. And he might not have realized it without have dating J.Lo.”

Said Callahan: “Jen and Ben are a low-key couple that really know where to draw the line. Matt certainly set the example, but really, they made a concerted effort to keep their private lives private.”

Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo or …. ?

“She’s got Jennifer Aniston syndrome,” relationship expert Titus. “Since Nick, has she ever been truly been happy? I mean, Johnny Knoxville, John Mayer? Come on. What is she looking for? She had it, she lost it, she’s been searching for it ever since. Tony Romo is an adorable, wholesome guy, but he’s sort of like a Nick Lachey without the edge. And poor Tony doesn’t know what he’s getting into. He’s just a nice, affable kid that got sucked in by a pretty face.”

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