It’s my birthday today. My first as a mama. I wanted to keep Kavi home from day care today so we could all celebrate as a family, but I’ve got a lot on my plate today work-wise and school-wise, and my husband is still under the weather.
So we’ll have to celebrate later. But it’s weird being the birthday girl now. It’s different.
Every year on this day, I find myself taking stock. And usually, when I look at where I am and where I want to be, I come up short.
My husband tells me that’s what he likes about me. I’m the classic over-achiever type, always striving. Never satisfied. But this could easily be seen as a negative quality, too. Certainly it’s caused me enough angst over the years.
Once I knew Kavi was on the way, things shifted. I applied to MFA grad school programs to force myself to write, then when I got in, I reconsidered. Kavi was 2 months old at the time. Had my goals really changed upon her arrival?
Yes. But not in the way I expected.
When I take stock today, I’m proud of where I am. I know, no matter what, I’ve done something beautiful with my life. I have this gorgeous, smartie pant of a child. She’s a grand accomplishment. Still, I learned quickly that I will never be just someone’s wife or just someone’s mother.
So now more than ever, I’m still striving.
Kavi really did change the way I look at my goals. She made my commitment to achieving them that much stronger. I want to be the mother she can be proud of, the mother who’s happy and fulfilled.
Today, when I look at where I am, I’m proud of how far I’ve come. And I’m proud that I’ve started moving in the direction of where I’d like to be going.
Do your little ones inspire you to aim higher?
Image via Meena Charaipotra